Memoria Arts~ Life in the Making

Light, last week...

Inside:

The paper mache stars were finished and delivered to Grace. It was a lot of fun, but hear me when I say I hope I don't see paper mache any time soon. There were five in total- two six pointed, two eight pointed, and one 'star of bethlehem', each about four and a half feet in diameter. All were made from Pex pipe, twine, paper, flour, and water. 

 
 

Outside:

Such beauty! The skies have been competing each day to see who can be the prettiest. It's fine with me; winter's gray cloak will settle down around the mountains' shoulders all too soon. We had the nicest of snows on Saturday. It wasn't too cold, and there wasn't a lot of ice and muck. Just enough to enjoy and play in!

 Making the stars and watching out the garage windows has made me think so much about light- how it changes, the different moods...and of course, the Light. This Advent season so far has felt quiet and peaceful. Just enjoying the moments as they come.

"The people walking in darkness have seen a great light; on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned." Isaiah 9:2

 

In progress...

I now understand the need for studio space. This is making a mess! Such an adventure to find the right structure, the right medium, to make such a very large star (about five feet in diameter). It will eventually be finished in such a way that it catches the light. I haven't decided what, yet- glitter, mica- because it has to be seen from a distance. Once I finish this one four more are on tap. I can't believe I get to do this as a job- it's way too much fun. Except for the splinters... [somewhere along the way, I promise a shop update in time for Christmas shopping, but right now, the church has my fingers (and toes)!]

 

Photos photos everywhere...

 

Ah, scrapbooking.

It's been a while. Two years, to be exact.

I've had a few projects I've finished here or there, a few pages, but these have taken weeks and months to complete. It's hard to explain why I haven't been enjoying my favorite hobby. Or maybe it is if I faced the truth of it...

my life has changed.

My new normal doesn't even come close to what my old normal was.

I like it that way.

However, it means that my time to piddle and play is very limited. As things have begun to 'settle down' (ha!) I've slowly been working art back into my days. It is important to me- it just keeps me sane, and I realized during my forced time away from art play that it is a pressure valve for me. Sometimes, it's just the idea that I've actually completed something that day and it stayed done and whole and beautiful- unlike my life and the laundry, which seems to be in some state of mess or process, never staying done. Sometimes, I need to work through something I am struggling with, and the abstract of just creating helps me to parse it all out. For someone who is a wordsmith, word lover, word consumer, I find the visual imagery helps me to clear out the clutter in my brain. There are so many reasons. I've gone on quite a few creative capers over the last year or so, fussing around with mixed media explorations, and it's been so freeing. Scrapbooking? Not so much.

It's the photographs.

This occurred to me not so long ago when I looked at a stack of photographs sitting on my desk that had sat unscrapped for nearly a year. It almost made me want to cry. I didn't even know where to begin, and my first inclination was just to walk away and do something else. But then I started flipping through them and I saw why I put them there in the first place- the stories, the moments I wanted to tell. I realized I just needed to get started (again), and these layouts are the fruits of that night.

In that process, I realized that I needed to condense my supplies. Part of this was just practicality- many of my paints, pens, and glues had dried up from two years of no use. (With the exception of the Creative Memories stuff- that stuff is made to last, thank goodness! I am still using some of the same pens my mom gave me over eight years ago.) Part of it is the fact that who I am as a scrapbooker, oddly enough, has solidified and cemented in the two years of not scrapbooking. Maybe it's a metaphor for other aspects of my life too, who knows. I know what I like and I don't like- what my style is. What my focus is. What 'floats my boat' technically speaking, and what makes me want to throw up my glue covered hands in disgust.

But there's those photographs!

How do I condense those into a system that makes sense for me? I am not a chronological scrapper. I never was, I never will be. It's always been about the story for me. And, okay, the chance to get paint on my fingers. I looked at the Creative Memories system. It's all about chronology, and that just ain't me. I scrap what inspires me in the moment. That's not to say that all these piles of photographs aren't stopping me cold, because they are. I just have to find a system that works for me. I have primarily digital photographs, all stored on my Mac; there is a little bit of stomach churning realization that if my trusty sidekick suddenly decided to take an extended vacation where all hard drives go sometimes, I am majorly up a creek and have lost years of pictures in the blink of an eye.

I've picked up Stacy Julian's Photo Freedom recently. Her system makes a lot of sense to me, how I think, how I scrapbook. I am game to try it...I am desperately hoping it makes a difference. I want to get back to the hobby I love. I'll let you know how it goes.

Autumn colors..

 

(Detail of a larger piece)

I have really been trying to work a bit of art into my days each day, even if for a few moments- it fills me up in a way that nothing else quite can.

I love stopping by Gennine's blog for beautiful inspiration. She has a lovely series of posts (with video) about her technique. You can watch her paint, and the music is beautiful. You should definitely head over there- my children loved watching the last installment today. She's a homeschooling mama, too!

Feeling a little scrappy...

Now that things are finally calming down, I get a few minutes here and there to scrap. I finished these in the last few days. My whole approach and style has changed over my untended break of two years. I used to scrap practically every night, and would get three or four pages done. I had a somewhat abstract style of scrapping- half the time I wouldn't make up my mind exactly what I was going for until halfway through a layout. I definitely have a shabby chic, artsy feel to my pages now, and that's how I like it. No more fussing with things that aren't "me". I used to be very perfectionistic with my approach too, and that's gone, gone, gone. I want it to look good, yes, but I could care less about 'perfect'. I've been doing all of these in little bites here and there instead of trying to punch through a bunch at one time. All of these started with a basic sketch or inspiration, and then the layers have gone on one at a time as I've had a few minutes. My favorite thing to use on layouts is paint, but I don't see being able to use the paint as much as I used to because of time constraints and the mess factor with little hands around. We'll see. It feels so good to be doing something I love again.

Security

Beginnings...

(For more background on the Cardboard Testimony project, read here and here)

Quite simply, this piece is huge. It is currently 12 feet long by 10 feet wide (you can probably get the scope in proportion to the rest of my garage- this is where my car usually sits). It will probably be in three, four foot sections (length wise) for ease of attachment and hanging. You are seeing the "before" side- the story before Christ, how the person felt...the other side has the "after". The white pieces are my main focus...each of those white pieces that you see will have photographs of the actual participants, done in a collage, mixed-media style...some of the photos are 5x7 and four to a "page", some will be 8x10, and still others will be 11x17.

Here's one I just finished to give you an idea (try not to pay attention to the creatively messy desk!):

The words are from the S.M. Lockridge sermon from that day...(you can find a video link to it in the above linked post). It just seemed like the two really went together. Some of these will have snippets of verses, still others will have snippets from the actual sermon that day by Tom Oyler.

The palette is subtly matched to the colors of the church- the greens, yellows, reds, and blues of the decor. At the same time, it's also supposed to look a bit messy and 'undone'...because 'perfect' artwork next to the cardboard testimonies would look quite strange. The words from the sermon are subtle on purpose (often in the same monochromatic color) so that they do not take away from the graphic effect of the cardboard testimonies.

Total aside, but I love that this piece is "green"- not only do we have the re-used cardboard, but the white pieces you see are actually the paperboard that backs x-rays. It happens to be the perfect size, and is light enough to be hung, and it took gesso like a champ.

It's in the beginning stages...I'll post more as it comes together, and you'll be able to see the progression.

A culmination of dreams...

Sorry my work in progress card is a bit late today. The reasons why surprise me still. Let me back up and explain a bit better.

This 'art friday' thing is something I started for myself at the beginning of this year, based loosely on the idea of Illustration Friday...but I knew I wanted it to be low-key. Calling it work-in-progress Friday made it easier (in my head) to commit to, because I tend towards perfectionism. The main point of it is for me to take a few minutes each week to try new techniques I have been curious about. The ATC card size made it easier (in my head) to approach, because there is not a huge expanse to 'make mistakes on'. (Can you tell that silencing my inner critic has been the hardest part of this little adventure?) At the other end of the spectrum, it was also meant as a sort of art journal where I catalog, through artistic techniques, some of the feelings and thoughts within my heart. Naturally, many of these have seemed to turn to expressions of faith, or 'working out' an aspect of faith I have been considering in prayer.

My husband has told me more than once that I turn into a whole different person when I have a chance to play and create...more peaceful, serene, at rest. (With four kids, no way, right? *laughter*) He called attention to something that I've come to realize- that creating art is truly, 'what fills me up'. I never feel more joyful when I have had a chance to piddle around, and never am I more sad when the chance to create goes too far between times. It's truly my form of 'language', my form of 'worship'. When I have the chance to scribble out poetry, paint, piddle, cut, form...there is this place inside of me that just rejoices, and I feel at peace.

Alas, this has been a hard thing for me to accept. (Remember that inner critic?) I find I've been playing this balancing act, trying to say, well, I can't be an artist and a mama. I can't be an artist and a wife. I can't make money doing this, this has no 'value'. How unfortunate this fight within me has been! It is not the dichotomy I make it out to be. And it does have value, even if that's not what the world thinks or I think. I've slowly been realizing that this create-ing thing, this artist/writer/piddler thing is the dream God has for me, that I've been called to (in addition to being a wife and mama, don't get me wrong). Not very long ago, I finally had one of those conversations with God: "Uh, God? You see, I've been a bit stubborn about this...and I feel a bit sheepish, and well.....I'm sorry, Abba Father. Would You guide and direct me in this? Will You use it to Your glory? I'm gonna get out of the way now. I'm sorry I've been so stubborn and opinionated." (And, have mercy, how many times must I confess I've had to pray this prayer over so many aspects of my life? Being strong-willed is a blessing from the Lord, but at the same time, it can be a curse if we don't keep handing it back to the God that designed it that way!)

Fast forward a few days. Nothing had really 'changed'- still piddling when I could, fitted around my days as I have time. But allowing myself to rejoice in the gift, if you know what I mean?

*gulp*

(tongue in cheek) Beware of what can happen when you tell God to have His way with you...

I was approached by the creative arts pastor at my church, and he asked if I might create a big sort of 'art installation' piece of all the cardboard testimonies from Easter. (I blogged about it here.) He wanted me to include some aspects of the cards I've been doing over the last five months, to make a big piece that people could walk around and absorb, that includes pictures of the 'story' tellers...

Could you imagine anything more perfect for me? That uses all my skills as both a scrapbooker, writer, photographer, mixed media artist? God sure does answer questions and dreams of the heart in a big way. I am still a little flabbergasted, and working on picking up my jaw off the floor...and walking into this commission with quite a bit of fear and trembling. It is in the beginning stages, being pieced together across the garage floor (I promise I'll post pictures as I go) as I figure out the shape and form of it before I begin adding all the other elements. It'll be pretty big- we're talking 12 feet by 12 feet or so. Please, will you pray for me as I work on this piece?

Back to the card for this week. Ever since Easter I have been dwelling on the need to tell the Story. His story. Our story. How He saved us, how He redeemed us, how He has been working in our lives. We don't do that much- it's hard, I acknowledge. It means being vulnerable, of letting the world really see how broken we were and are, and how desperately we need our Savior. But it is necessary. So I made this card to remind me...to tell the Story. It is also a way to focus, as I have been entrusted with the stories of others.

I just never would have dared to imagine that dreams like this could culminate in such a way...

Beauty in the mundane...

Confession time: This card was a reject. I did it a few weeks ago and I didn't like it at the time. I guess it was one of those things where what I was seeing in my head was not coming out on the paper. I didn't like how the second flower came out, too faded... I tossed it. In the trash.

But.

James snapped it up. He was using it as a bookmark in his Bible. When I noticed it one morning, I asked him about it- "Didn't I throw that out?" He looked at me with a smile and said, "Yeah, but it was too beautiful to toss out. You may not see it, but I love it." (Did I mention how much I love this guy?)

*sighs*

Perfectionism gets the best of me way too often.

The thing is...I like it a lot now too. I see the beauty of it. Yeah, so the flowers are a bit unfinished and they don't have the definition I wanted. But they are almost dreamy...one seems like it is the reflection of the first one. I started scribbling words across it as I looked at it again. I want eyes like James. I want eyes of wonder to see the beauty in the mundane. And the dirty imperfect. So you could almost say it's a visual prayer.

What an adventure this little project has been. I wonder where it will take me next?

Stop the presses, I scrapbooked!

He he. This one is so simple, but I love it. Some of my favorite shots from around the house- evidence of our life here. The sparkly sticker on the side (MAMBI) "Home Sweet Home" I have had for-ev-ah and just couldn't bring myself to use it. Too pretty! A couple of nights ago, though, it sort of all jumped together in my head and I knew exactly what I wanted. Journaling reads: Scenes from my life here at home...signs of love everywhere you look. I wouldn't trade my life as mama for the whole wide world, for sure and certain. Even the laundry!