Memoria Arts~ Life in the Making

Smack in the middle...

Pardon me while I wipe the salt play dough off my hands.

Sit down, grab a cup of lukewarm coffee. It was hot, I promise.

Ann sent me looking for beauty yesterday. I'd show you what I found, but my camera is having a "moment". Honestly, I'm not sure I'd have had the time to press shutter and catch it.

My head quakes with pressure- this ache has been playing around my temples for days- and the noise! Oh, the noise! It burns around the edges and sets me so close to fuse, explosion waiting on tip of tongue.

Chaos.

That's pretty much it. Nutshell, crisp and clean.

Daylight Savings Time has played mischief with sleep, children rising grumpier, and I know a week will pass until it calms down again. We've been at the learning, pushing, counting, wondering at facts, and while I enjoy that, the questions, endless round, come five o clock and dinner pushing on, tear at the fabric of my sanity.

I'm smack in the middle of everyday life.

I pause, hard stop, and shift.

Email clanging gives reminder that I am privileged to pray for others, with praise, with concern, with care.

The laundry is full to brim because of a little girl who hasn't quite managed the whole process yet, but oh how close she is! How she tries! And how proud I am of her...

(but if the boys could kindly keep their socks some vestige of white, the muddied washer and I would thank them. And don't get me started on their bathroom...)

And all the salt dough crumbles scattered across the floor mean we had a wondrous adventure across Mercury's skies...

I'm smack in the middle of everyday life.

Outside, storms threaten. Elections, votes, causes, concerns, illnesses, economies, lost jobs. How I know the face and color of the recession storm so well- have I not lived it these last fourteen months? The squalls, they crash and buffet.

I took the kids to find some beauty yesterday afternoon...to scramble over the hills and dales of an Appalachian fall in full bloom. I don't remember much of it. I wanted to snap pictures, gather a bit of scarlet and gold, find a snatch of beautiful. But Josiah, dear heart, had gone all day without napping, fussy as could be. David had somehow managed to remove both shoes and sweatshirt before sneaking into car, and barefoot and bare headed, came bounding out of car at the park. A return home for needed articles, and back to the park. The bigs were in a veritable grump. Nothing pleased, nothing soothed. Wild things, indeed, tromping angrily through the forest.

A sigh bubbled up.

Over in the corner, my husband was showing the children this wizened old tree, where some of the roots were showing. The detritus of autumn was all about, red, gold, green, brown, thick and fragrant. I paused to listen as he said told children how the roots went as twice as deep and wide as the tree above the earthen floor- I could see the truth of it in the gnarled roots we could see, maybe a quarter of the trees root system? It was a scattered conversation, and then the kids went crying and wilding again. We didn't stay long.

But for some reason, that tree has stuck with me all day to day. That tree, smack in the middle of the hill, the chunk of earth worn away from a side, but still standing tall and straight as the day is long. Holding against the storms that washed that chunk away.

Do I have that kind of root system?

That's why we search after beauty. That's why we count His days. So that we can dig deep and stand tall. Smack in the middle of our chaotic days, right where God wants us to be.

With salt dough mess on our hands and lukewarm coffee.

Blessings to you, dear friends, smack in the middle of life. May the Lord strengthen and keep you!

He's home!

James was released Sunday afternoon. Praise the Lord! He is on some pretty hefty steroids to keep his lungs strong, but they felt comfortable enough with his improvement to allow him to go home. They'll keep close watch on him over the next week to make sure that the pneumonia has truly retreated.

He still has quite a recovery ahead of him, but he is so glad to be back to the comfort of home. I was reminded again of how pleasant it is to come home to comfort. I noted it after the miscarriage and subsequent surgery, and I saw it again as we returned home last night. You don't really notice it until there has been a lack of it. There is no comparison between a hospital room and a pleasantly appointed bed room. I could just see James relaxing for the first time in days as he slid under the cool soft sheets, with the ceiling fan blowing a light breeze. There was our quiet green painted walls and our favorite photographs to see just across the way, and a window out to our backyard to look at. We have soft lighting on either side of the bed...no overhead. Such a contrast to the dreary beige walls, harsh lighting, and rough sheets and blankets of the hospital! I think we often mistake a magazine perfect home with a friendly, comforting home. Sometimes they are the same things- being both pretty and functional, I mean. But I think it's so important to make sure your home is comfortable over being picture perfect. So what if the couch is the latest thing in furnishings- can you sink down in it with a good book and cuddle with the kids? Is it easy to clean? Will you often find a member of the family curled up on it? It truly doesn't take a lot of money, so much as it takes a bit of forethought and consideration. And isn't it interesting how a few pieces of home can make one feel comfortable in unpleasant settings? Your own pillow, the quilt from home...a favorite picture or two? And what little touches make a sick one feel better? A glass of water, an interesting book to read (or perhaps a new coloring book for a little one who must stay abed)...they only take a few minutes, but the little touches show how much the sick one is loved and cared for.

(Although, as James laughingly pointed out to one of the nurses, it won't be very long before we will return to the hospital- just a few weeks- but thankfully, it will be for a much happier reason. Only a few weeks until Bean makes his debut. My oldest, Ben, wanted to know why we didn't bring him home from the hospital yesterday, as he associates the hospital with me and having babies. What a giggle we had over that!)

It's the little things...

It's June! June! June!

Which means that a certain appearance by a certain wee one is coming very, very soon. Just six more weeks!

June also means love for me, for him...it's our anniversary month. Singing a love song over my Beloved...very inspired by this challenge to prayer.

We've been traveling as well- my brother graduated a week ago Saturday- we were supposed to stay here at "Grandma Camp" until the homeschooling convention at the end of this week, but a sudden medical emergency in the family led to James and I heading back home for four days. My mom graciously offered to keep the children for the time (brave soul, isn't she?) and gracious, if they didn't have a total blast! They've been all over, seen all sorts of things...and they had to tell me all of this all at once this morning. I think, in translation, I heard something about a ship museum, a firehouse, seeing a butterfly, a lighthouse, ponies, sending a code across the wire, and a sandy beach. Oh, and feathers. Quite the adventures, I tell you. Pictures coming soon, I promise.

We slipped back into Grandma's house yesterday night, after everyone had already drifted off to sleep. Come this morning, I awoke before the children did, waiting. Isaiah's blonde downy head popped up first, and he smiled shyly when he realized just who was sitting in front of him..."Mommy!" He crawled up in my lap, wrapping himself up double so that he would fit around my baby belly, curled on to my shoulder, and sighed contentedly. A few minutes later he was whispering about all the adventures he had been on, his voice getting more and more animated, and soon Lorelei's curly head appeared beside us..."Mamamamamama! " She joined in to the story telling, and Daddy was soon awake and listening too...Lorelei's sweet voice "Uv you daddy, Uv you mommy"...and then Ben awoke, his brown, brown hair peeking over the edge of the bed. "Mommy! How did you get in here! I didn't see you come in!"  Can I just say how much fun it was to suprise them? I smiled as each kiddo would look at me in suprise and then recognition, and then the big grins and smiles as they realized I was "really, real!" Those little moments- they are the best in the world, treasures of the highest measure. When I went to get David out of his crib, he looked at me, with the biggest, sleepiest smile, and said "mama!" in full recognition...I about cried. He has never said it before, and it was so sweet...'course, he's been saying 'dada' for months and months and I felt a wee bit left out. Such a gift it was!

It's the little things, the little moments, that make it all worth while. It was lovely to have such a precious reminder this morning.

Backseat buddies...

(I love how Isaiah's glasses are always slipped down his nose. No matter what I do, they will not stay where they belong!)

These two. Man, are they getting big. And tall. And very boy-man like. And opinionated. And rough and tumble. And gracious, can they get muddy in a heartbeat! There's no baby to them anymore, which is just as it should be. (Though they will always be my babies. *smiles*) They are fourteen months apart. Depending on the time of year, I often get asked if they are twins. They are best buds and each other's worst enemy at the same time. The depth of their love for each other is deep, deep, deep. They will fight each other like you wouldn't believe, but woe to the person who picks on either of them- the other will come to the brother's defense in a heartbeat. Never mind that said brother was just picking on him a moment before!

I guess I am just having a mama moment. I cannot get over these two- how big they are, all the things they've learned this year, all the stuff they've accomplished. Growing in so many ways. Feeling a bit inadequate to the task of being their mama- we're moving into the elementary years now, which I have absolutely no experience with. Toddlers, now, I'm pretty familiar with that path! But elementary boys with big big questions and big big hearts? I just want to do my best and help them grow.

I'll have two pairs of "twins" with my sweet princess girl in the middle. Our ultrasound today was quite definitive...Mr. Healthy Bean was being quite photogenic. Such amazing pictures we got today! Even his little toes!

Me. Momma to four boys and my song-filled girl. Wow.

Making messes in the kitchen...

I was reading an article the other day about how making a mess is not necessarily a bad thing for creativity. It makes total sense to me. How's this for creative messes in the kitchen?

Over here:

Over there:

I like theirs better- so bright and colorful on such a dreary day. My bread, on the other hand, came out oddly. I must have forgotten an ingredient or something...it was half risen and salty tasting instead of the yummy yeasty goodness we love! So maybe not all messes are fruitful. Blech. Maybe the birds will like it?

Weaving the threads...

    Our first semester of home schooling is wrapping up this week, and I find myself looking back over the last five months and evaluating how things have gone so far. The most noticeable thing for me has been the flexibility inherent in a home school curriculum. We technically started school July 2nd (which I chronicled here) and will end this Friday, Dec.19th. At first, I was a bit overwhelmed at the fact that Ben wanted to start early- while I didn't feel unprepared exactly, I felt like I wasn't quite ready. Homeschooling with babies underfoot is quite the undertaking, and I won't deny that. This was my primary fear, I think, as we began: could I keep everything balanced between the needs of my school children and the needs of my babies? I think we found a sweet spot with that about late September, early October, and we've followed a similar rhythm of routine since then. But back to the flexibility: We worked from July to the 1st of August, at which point we went on a vacation to celebrate my best friend's wedding. Unbenowst to me, I began to miscarry during that wedding weekend. By the time we returned, the roller coaster of losing the baby and the surgery began, stretching from the 11th of August to the the 23rd, with the surgery falling on the 20th of August. A whole month was "lost" (but not really, upon examination). My mother was able to pick up with the children during the last week of August, and schooled them for a week and a half until I was feeling well enough to return to teaching them. We then worked, with decent regularity, for the next two months into November. It didn't feel that way at the time, actually. Isaiah had multiple therapy appointments on different days and covering two towns in the process (vision, speech, physical, and occupational). It seemed like everything was all over the map, literally and figuratively. Looking back at my homeschool journal, though, we got through the lessons, as planned- fitted in around the multiple car trips and appointments. Our school day probably didn't look very typical, but that's fine- that's what homeschooling is all about. We stopped schooling again in the middle of November, in part due to Thanksgiving break, but also to a week of doctors' appointments and sickness. We picked back up the first week of December. All this to say, according to the 'traditional' school calendar (using our local school district for reference), we should be at week 17 in the lesson plans. Amazingly, we are right on track for the year, ending at week 17, right on schedrule. This is the beauty of homeschooling- I can't imagine what this would have looked like if Ben and Isaiah had been in a traditional school setting. Just thinking about signing Isaiah in and out of school for therapy appointments makes my eyes cross. Sonlight has been a great fit for us this semester, in so many ways.
    Ben, so far, is doing very well. We are still struggling a bit with reading, but it has come along steadily. I am trying to find the balance between 'fun' and required to help encourage him in this area. Writing is similar- his handwriting is improving steadily (he's using the first grade curriculum from Handwriting Without Tears, which I can't reccomend enough.) He absolutely loves math and science, and would double or triple his math lessons regularly if I let him. (I do sometimes, but I am more concerned with mastery and understanding over speed.)
   The enviornment that home schooling provides for Isaiah is so, so important. Everyday he gets highly individualized, tailored instruction from me at his skill level,  something that would not be available in a traditional setting. With his Sensory Processing Disorder, he struggles with some of the basic skills: following directions, sitting erect in a chair, holding a pencil properly and applying appropriate pressure to the the paper, sequencing- all are a struggle. He lacks the muscle control that a normal kindergartner would have. We have yet to start a "math" curriculum with him but continue to do 'real-life' counting in conjuction with physical activity, like counting to ten while hopping. Both are very important for his development right now. And by helping to integrate his body with his mind on multiple dimensions, it helps with the sensory processing. (In short, SPD kids struggle with integration- where is my body, what is my body doing, what is my brain saying to my body.) He's whip smart, which you probably wouldn't notice if you could only see his failure to perform typical kindergarter skills. He is interested in science, and is almost reading (he has picked it up much faster than Ben has), and if his muscle control wasn't such an issue, would probably write stories. Right now he settles for writting long scribbles that look like sentences. (And while he thinks he's not doing anything, he's actually doing a lot. Just having the patience and control over the pencil for that long and leaning all the scribbles in the same direction says a lot for his prewriting skills.) He seems to struggle very much with sequencing both in the logical and practical sense: like beginning, middle, and end (this happened, and then this happened...), math skills often show skipped numbers or no understanding of which number comes next or before, and when you lay colored beads in a pattern, he can copy it exactly, but can't figure out which colored bead would come next in the sequence. So we're gonna keep working on that, both here at home and with his therapists.
    It's gone a bit better than I expected, and a bit worse for the wear. I see things that I will definitely change for next semester that (hopefully) will allow things to run a bit smoother. The boys definitely need a folder to keep their language arts and Explode the Code work in, because I am so tired of trying to figure out who has done what when and how! (Especially since I make copies!) Isaiah will probably start with Math U See in January- we'll see how it goes there. It seems to make a lot more sense to his brain, than, say, Ben's Horizon (Alpha Omega) curriculum. I really want to adjust our morning routine so that we finish our 'home' routine and then move into our 'school' routine with less bumps and breaks. I think that I am going to focus most of our reading assignments during that time and then move into the individualized work from there. We'll see.

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In a related vein:

• Kevin (Elise's husband, of A Path Made Straight) has done a great write up on how they choose literature for their boys, and gives a ton of great suggestions. I think this will definitely help me in the "fun" reading category!

• Tonia did a series of "field notes" that cover what she is currently experiencing as all of her children are moving into the middle school and high school years. She offers an important perspective from someone who has been at this adventure for a while.
• Ann has a ton, and I do mean a ton, of homeschooling posts, all of which are encouraging and inspiring. Sometimes when I have a really rough day, I go re-read the archives to get refreshed and encouraged and ready for battle again. Highly recommended.
• Molly, of Mommycoddle, wrote such a clear, concise, 'this is why I homeschool' article on Momformation that is just dead on. Great article to hand to family members and the like at those requisite holiday gatherings who are questioning your sanity for homeschooling.

Alphabet soup...

 

It's the little things...

This illness, pregnancy, and surgery came completely out of left field. We were smack in the middle of life: a best friend's wedding, catching the last rays of summer, getting all the school stuff organized and more on a schedule. And then, wham!

I think if you could do something more character building to this mama, cause her to have major surgery, and then tell her she has to sit still for two weeks. It is really, really hard! I say this all tongue in cheek, of course, but seriously. I am a doer, a problem-solver. Right now, I am not even allowed to pick up my kids and have to be seated and have them handed to me. I am laughing at myself and my wiggle-wormies. Hmm. I wonder where my kids get it from? It has truly been a humbling experience.

It's been kind of like putting on a new pair of glasses and getting used to the prescription from a different perspective. I've seen and noticed things that I never would have otherwise since I was busy (rightfully so) being mama and wife. Like the amazing luxury of a well made bed. I can't remember who along the way told me this (and it's been driving me nuts) but one of the women in my life early in my marriage gave me the advice to do as much as I could in the master bedroom as budget allows. She said, if all you have got is $20, buy the best sheets those dollars could buy. She said that you could skimp in the other areas of the home in those early broke-as-ramen-noodles marriage days, but try as hard as you could to make the bedroom as special as possible. And so, little by little, adventure after adventure, our bedroom came together. It truly is a sanctuary. It was put together so cheaply, you'd find it hard to believe. But it really is beautiful. The walls are a soft green, and the overall effect is somewhat celtic in nature. There's no tv or computer, and I really do try to keep it as cleaned as possible. I try to make sure that even if the rest of the house is a tornado, by the time James comes home that bedroom is nice, neat, and welcoming. The sheets are a 6oo count sheets, soft as silk. The down comforter is fluffy and inviting, and I usually keep a vase full of alstromeria on the dresser (I get it super cheap at the grocery store, maybe $3-$4- they last for over two weeks well cared for, so it's a bargain).

I didn't realize how much I took it for granted until I was suddenly "stuck" in it due to the surgery. I remember the first night of being home after being in the hospital for two days, with its garish colors and starch stiff sheets, and just sinking into the bed with a sigh of delight. That bedroom has been as restorative as medicine, I tell you. When I woke up the next morning, the sunlight was streaming in, I glanced up at the dresser where the flowers I had put in on Monday were sitting. I physically felt pretty awful, but my spirits lifted by leaps and bounds in just a few seconds. I share this, because I know us mamas. We're pretty busy taking care of our kiddos and husband, and often make sure that everyone else has those little extra touches, while our own self care languishes. This has a two-for-one benefit...not only will you get a more restorative rest in a bedroom designated as a special and sanctuary place, but your husband is blessed by it too. I am a firm believer in God, marriage, and then the kids. And the bedroom is a part of that. That bedroom should be the nicest place in the house, over even the living room and the plasma television. For the last three years that our bedroom has been this way, we've fallen into bed at late hours, crawled out of it at early hours, collapsed in pure exhaustion. I don't think I've ever stopped to consider how much that restful room has helped our marriage to stay strong, but it's so true. Its use is set apart for rest, restoration, and love, and even when nothing else has been going for us or there has been huge crisis, our bedroom is a safe place.

I've realized this extends to hospitality when someone is ill. I can't tell you how much I've enjoyed the flowers and ballons sent my way this last week. I never thought I'd like that- I am kind of minimalist. But boy oh boy, each new one that showed up, my smile got wider and wider. Simple beauty like that is such an outpouring of love. Knowing that someone (to borrow the cliche) "cares enough to send the very best" is a restorative medicine too.  So send a little love letter to yourself and your spouse, and make your bedroom a special place. You'll be so glad you did!

A glimpse...

Clarity of thought...

Ok, so now everyone is teasing me about how neat my car console was. In my defense, I took that picture right after the car was bought, and I was messing with settings on my camera. I was not flaunting my neatness by any stretch of the imagination! I think I might post a current pic of my car just to satisfy a certain naysayer... *laughs*

I wrote Shuffle:Play right before I started reading Raising Children to Adore God: Instilling a Lifelong Passion for Worship by Patrick Kavanaugh. This book was interesting- it jumped of the shelf at the library at me, and I was curious. So much of what he talks about is actual acts of worship (music, prayer, etc.) but nearly all of it could be applied to the act of parenting. I've truly enjoyed reading his perspective. As I finished the book, a section in his last chapter explained what I was thinking regarding shuffle:play so much better. He says:

Built to Last, an excellent book on business management by Jim Collins, studies a number of large corporations that have endured for many decades. In his careful analysis, Collins discovered two principles that each of those successful companies possessed. These points, in my own words, are (1) Each company had a mission statement that was utterly unchangeable and would never be neglected, yet (2) The manner in which this mission was accomplished was completely flexible,  changing freely from one idea to another.

We see the parallels between Collins' fascinating findings and Christian parenting. Like those successful corporations, we parents need to have certain biblical principles that we hold onto without exception. But we also need to be flexible and creative as to their practical implementation. In other words, there are two categories of parenting concepts. The first is absolutely unchangeable, and the second is absolutely flexible.

Jesus said that the Father commanded Him "what to say and how to say it" (John 12:49). When raising children, the basic "what to say" category remains constant. But "how you say it", that is, how these key principles are implemented, will change as your children move from infancy to young adulthood.  (158-159)